Thailand

Since I hadn't updated my blog in such a long time, I thought I would use my excruciatingly slow half hour left at work.

I head to Thailand tomorrow for my volunteer project. I was lucky enough to get my preferred project of enriching and improving conditions of an elephant nature park. I will be heading to Chiang Mai in Northern Thailand, and once I finish with my two weeks of volunteer work I will be traveling south to (basically) Puckett beach and to the various cities and temples along the way. I suppose what I am most excited about is that while I am working with elephants I will be staying with the Karen tribe which is known traditionally for handling and working with elephants. I will be staying in raised huts in the tribe and be a working member of the community (which includes Asian squat toilet and bucket shower). I've got all of my vaccinations covered and basically savoring every moment I have here in Salt Lake with the people I love. All I have left to do is to soak my clothing in bug repellent for 2 hours, let them dry for two hours, and then pack. Wish me luck and have a great August, everyone!

Things are good. Real good.

Graduated May 7th. GRADUATED.

I went to the general commencement and Ambassador Jon Huntsmen Jr. gave the speech. He talked about a whole bunch random things that I didn't necessarily think were relevant but overall I enjoyed his talk (but apparently I don't remember too much because I can't think of anything he said specifically.) I sat by my friend Ericka during the commencement and texted people. Pretty sweet.

In the afternoon there was the College of Science commencement at Kingsbury Hall and I was surprised how many of the PHD, Masters, and Bachelors graduates I knew. My sister Andrea, Aydan, Alannah, Melissa, Elizabeth, Mom, Dad, aunt Nanette, uncle Dave, and my-Paul were at the ceremony and I was glad they didn't hesitate to yell as my name was called. The president of BYU spoke at my BS commencement and he didn't do nearly as good as Huntsmen. I heard afterward from Andrea that when she and her kids sat down, Aydan listened for about a total of 5 minutes before asking when it as over.

After graduation we had a dinner for those who attended, played games with my nieces and nephews, ate my Mom's delicious delicious manicotti, opened gifts, and play my newly attained (via grad gifts) "Best Guess" Board game. Since graduation I have been living at Paul's house unofficially. (Unofficially because all my stuff isn't down there yet. I've been just packing bags of clothes and leaving them there...)

Living with Paul is like a dream. Yesterday we walked to the trax station from his house, traxed to the main library downtown, picked out random cds, books, and movies. Snagged a coffee from the library cafe and lounged around outside in the grass, walked back through the City building grounds to the trax. It was idyllic. We're so good together. The things that I get fussy about are things that he doesn't care about (which means I get things my way!) and vise versa. So it all works out. I am incredibly lucky, and I realize this.

Oh, and yesterday Paul and I went to the fabric store because I am going to make a quilt. This zig-zag quilt to be exact. Instead of white we are doing brown, blue we are doing the same (but our random pattern is paisley-- yes I have a man who loves paisley!), and instead of orange we are doing a green. I bought one of those quilting cutters with a roller blade and HOLY SMOKES does it really cut! I'm gonna borrow my Mommy's sewing machine to sew and I am modifying the pattern so I can make one that isn't a baby-sized quilt (and instead make one for our bed!). I am quite excited over it! I'll show you the finished product when I get to it.


Other than that nothing too much going on. I have quite a few projects for girl scouts that I am working on. (Girl scout video-- hiiiiilarious as well as a photo keepsake book.) But Girl Scouts will be winding down come the end of May. I have also started walking with my Mom on the days that she is off. I think it will make both of us healthy in the long run, and now that I am no longer at home, walking around and talking with my Mom is a good thing. For both of us. Maybe we'll make Elizabeth come with us when she moves back to Utah.

Last Saturday I went out to dinner with Paul's Mom since she was in town for her step-daughter's graduation (she lives in Arizona) so I got to meet her. Reports say that she and Paul's step-Dad really liked me and that she'd be willing to pay for us to fly down and visit, so we've got that to look forward to! Free trip, yippee! I also have a trip planned with Mom, Dad, and Elizabeth at the end of June not to mention my Thailand trip August. Looks like a busy summer ahead!

Probably the last project on my list of things to do is gardening at my new home. This last winter Paul's landlord was extremely weird and decided to shovel the lawn as well as the walkways and because of that-- the whole front lawn's grass died (and is slowly being replaced with weeds). I am going to try to grow grass from seedlings sometime soon. I have no idea how to do it, but I guess that will be apart of the experience. Yay for being outside and working with the earth! We also bought a lavender plant when we were at the grocery store so we're going to plant that. Also, we bought some other plants (tomatoes, peppers, cilantro) to grow in a garden of our own making. We've gotta get on that soon if we want any peppers or tomatoes this summer.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that I am finally living my life. It's about time. Maybe when I finish my quilt I'll start looking for a real job (Tandem labs hook-ups here I come!). I was also thinking about interning up at the Zoo-- especially after my Thailand trip since I will have experience working with elephants!

It's been so long since I've updated that I've forgotten how to use the computer...

...just kidding. I am a computer wiz, yo.

Well... where to begin? These last few months have probably been the toughest part of my life so far and after 5 months (Has it really been that long?) of medication, psychologists, and therapy I can finally say I think things are finally getting underway--- but I am getting ahead of myself here.

Several months ago, Parker started to date someone new. His new girlfriend lives in Oregon and when he decided to take his first plane trip (something we promised to do together) to go visit her, I started to realize that Parker and I would never resolve things and never get back together. That's when the shit hit the fan.

In the proceeding months I started to rot in my self-loathing and depression until it was extremely black and white that I needed help. I met with my psychologist just before Thanksgiving, a time when Parker's girlfriend was visiting Salt Lake and being the first girlfriend besides myself to go to his family festivities, and I began antidepressants and talk therapy.

I tried to remain friends with Parker, to accept that he didn't love me anymore and just be his friend, but when being around him or even speaking about him made me tear up and get upset, I decided that I needed to stop talking to him if I was ever going to get better. (Plus, it was also because I loved Parker and was trying to let him live his chosen life-- having me going into hysterics because he didn't love me every time I was with him wasn't exactly... productive).

Since Parker was there whenever I would hang out with my friends, I stopped hanging out with them. I was depressed that whenever I tried to hang out with these friends without Parker it was always lackluster by being awkward and forced feeling, or I felt like they just didn't like me as much as they liked Parker. (Which is probably the case.) It broke my heart to know that all my friends from high school were my friends because of who I was dating but through counseling with my therapist, I have begun the process of putting myself out there to make new friends. I have been actively trying to get my life back in order and while things still seem a bit chaotic I think things are sorting itself out. I still get upset about Parker and what he did to me, but I guess now I am starting to get pass it.

This January I started dating someone new, Paul. I met him through my friend Peter and he is the balm to my wounds. When I am with him, I feel so safe and I know that he would do everything in his power to protect me. He isn't someone I have to fear that he's lying to me, or using me for the umpteenth time but instead the most fantastically caring person. We get each other on levels that I didn't even think possible-- it's almost as if we think, feel, act the same way. We even went camping in Zions together for spring break on a whim. It was quite liberating knowing that I was going camping and I didn't know where. It was nice being not so much of a planner.

Now that spring and summer is on it's way, I have been making plans to adopt a dog. I was going to adopt a particular dog, Biscuit, but unfortunately someone paid for her the moment I walked in the door. I have decided to wait a month until school is over so that I can really dedicate time to her versus now when I should really be cracking down for end of the semester.

This Easter weekend I took my senior chemistry exams (American Chemical Society tests on organic, inorganic, analytical, physical, and biological chemistry) and I passed them! Apparently I know enough chemistry to graduate with a BS. (I bought my cap and gown!) Since I was off taking tests on a Saturday I didn't get to go on my typical Easter trip to southern Utah to visit my Grandma Jones with my extended family. Instead I went with Paul up to Park City to his family's Easter events and met his whole family (who say via Paul that they liked me and sure thought I was tough to meet all of them at once).

I am quite optimistic about what my life can be.