I've been terrible at blogging.

I see that my last posts from blogspot are literally from a year ago, I thought I would write a nice summation of my life to catch up.

My life has been at stand-still lately. I'm in the arduous process of figuring out what I want to do with my career and basically the rest of my life. I plan on going to Vet School, but unfortunately the deadline to apply comes only once a year. Having missed the Fall 2012 chance to apply (and hopefully get accepted); I am waiting for the next fiscal year. In the meantime I hope to save up money to go to said school. Now if only I had a high paying job relevant to my field of chemistry... I've been applying to a lot of jobs, but I have to admit I was quite disillusioned about what it would be like to get a job doing chemistry (sans a PhD). I imagined doing extordinary things, like inventing new chemicals, but in reality it is quite monotonous. I still work at the library on the U campus, and although it was a really great place to work while I was at school I grow tired of the lack of stimulation to my brain. I applied to a few dozen labs, and hopefully soon change will happen.

I have been living with my boyfriend, Paul, for about a year and a half now and I couldn't be happier. We have a small one story house down on the west side of Salt Lake City. I wouldn't mind living in an apartment, but having a house to ourselves means that Paul and his band can make as much music as they want without having to stress about being polite to neighbors. Apart from being a musician, Paul works at Musician's Friend selling musical instruments which is a recent development (Congrats baby on the new job!). I love being with Paul. He is clever, creative, and logical, and we often find our minds traveling on the same logic 95% of the time, and the other 5% of the time is something clever that the other hasn't thought of. He makes me laugh and smile, and I couldn't imagine my life without him. He does so much for me, and I am eternally grateful.

At our place we aren't allowed pets and despite how much I wish I could adopt every animal I see, I can't. We do secretly own three hamsters, though. Might seem a bit excessive to a few people to have three hamsters, but we make a happy little family. (Don't worry-- you won't be getting Christmas cards with me, Paul and our hamsters anytime soon. Haha.) Living with my hamsters have made me more intuitive with animal interactions. I'm trying out some field biology on my precious little guys, and I do enjoy making toys for them.

Every first and third Thursday, my Mom and I co-lead a Girl Scout Troop with our neighbor Jan. We are currently working on a Simple Meals badge, and by the end of the Month starting the next badge in which I am in charge of. Ideally, I wanted to do the Drawing badge, but it is approximately close to cookie sales, and so I will be doing cookie sale related badges in prep for the busy cookie season.

Beyond that, I have been busy with general self improvement goals. Paul and I are trying to cook at eat at home more often than not, as well as trying to go to the gym everyday (but really end up going 5/7 days). My typical work out lately has been running and then weight lifting for an hour.
My usual mile is a 11 minute one, and I have slightly reduced my time (by like 30 seconds) since I started working out, but I find it a bit frustrating at my lack of speed improvement. I have noticed a difference with the weight I lift though, and I work doubly on my trouble areas (inner thigh, triceps, abs, etc) which are starting to get really strong. Paul though, has practically maxed out all the weights on the machines and will have to start doing free weights-- what a strong man I have!

Anyways, that's enough for now. I will post again (hopefully) soon.

September 11th, 2001.

Albeit this post is a few days behind, I thought it was necessary. September 11th didn’t make the same impression to me as it did to those at ground zero. I only saw the attack on TV and it felt as real as Hollywood magic. It was hard to imagine it happening to real people and after ten years I was even more desensitized to the tragedy. Until yesterday, I only remembered the visual of plane crashes and the falling buildings. Do you remember how people jumped from the second building after the first building fell? Knowing that the building had been hit, people in the second tower rather plummet to their deaths instead of suffering the same fate as those crushed and killed from the collapse of the first building. Remember the reality and the horror of September 11th.

Thailand

Since I hadn't updated my blog in such a long time, I thought I would use my excruciatingly slow half hour left at work.

I head to Thailand tomorrow for my volunteer project. I was lucky enough to get my preferred project of enriching and improving conditions of an elephant nature park. I will be heading to Chiang Mai in Northern Thailand, and once I finish with my two weeks of volunteer work I will be traveling south to (basically) Puckett beach and to the various cities and temples along the way. I suppose what I am most excited about is that while I am working with elephants I will be staying with the Karen tribe which is known traditionally for handling and working with elephants. I will be staying in raised huts in the tribe and be a working member of the community (which includes Asian squat toilet and bucket shower). I've got all of my vaccinations covered and basically savoring every moment I have here in Salt Lake with the people I love. All I have left to do is to soak my clothing in bug repellent for 2 hours, let them dry for two hours, and then pack. Wish me luck and have a great August, everyone!

Things are good. Real good.

Graduated May 7th. GRADUATED.

I went to the general commencement and Ambassador Jon Huntsmen Jr. gave the speech. He talked about a whole bunch random things that I didn't necessarily think were relevant but overall I enjoyed his talk (but apparently I don't remember too much because I can't think of anything he said specifically.) I sat by my friend Ericka during the commencement and texted people. Pretty sweet.

In the afternoon there was the College of Science commencement at Kingsbury Hall and I was surprised how many of the PHD, Masters, and Bachelors graduates I knew. My sister Andrea, Aydan, Alannah, Melissa, Elizabeth, Mom, Dad, aunt Nanette, uncle Dave, and my-Paul were at the ceremony and I was glad they didn't hesitate to yell as my name was called. The president of BYU spoke at my BS commencement and he didn't do nearly as good as Huntsmen. I heard afterward from Andrea that when she and her kids sat down, Aydan listened for about a total of 5 minutes before asking when it as over.

After graduation we had a dinner for those who attended, played games with my nieces and nephews, ate my Mom's delicious delicious manicotti, opened gifts, and play my newly attained (via grad gifts) "Best Guess" Board game. Since graduation I have been living at Paul's house unofficially. (Unofficially because all my stuff isn't down there yet. I've been just packing bags of clothes and leaving them there...)

Living with Paul is like a dream. Yesterday we walked to the trax station from his house, traxed to the main library downtown, picked out random cds, books, and movies. Snagged a coffee from the library cafe and lounged around outside in the grass, walked back through the City building grounds to the trax. It was idyllic. We're so good together. The things that I get fussy about are things that he doesn't care about (which means I get things my way!) and vise versa. So it all works out. I am incredibly lucky, and I realize this.

Oh, and yesterday Paul and I went to the fabric store because I am going to make a quilt. This zig-zag quilt to be exact. Instead of white we are doing brown, blue we are doing the same (but our random pattern is paisley-- yes I have a man who loves paisley!), and instead of orange we are doing a green. I bought one of those quilting cutters with a roller blade and HOLY SMOKES does it really cut! I'm gonna borrow my Mommy's sewing machine to sew and I am modifying the pattern so I can make one that isn't a baby-sized quilt (and instead make one for our bed!). I am quite excited over it! I'll show you the finished product when I get to it.


Other than that nothing too much going on. I have quite a few projects for girl scouts that I am working on. (Girl scout video-- hiiiiilarious as well as a photo keepsake book.) But Girl Scouts will be winding down come the end of May. I have also started walking with my Mom on the days that she is off. I think it will make both of us healthy in the long run, and now that I am no longer at home, walking around and talking with my Mom is a good thing. For both of us. Maybe we'll make Elizabeth come with us when she moves back to Utah.

Last Saturday I went out to dinner with Paul's Mom since she was in town for her step-daughter's graduation (she lives in Arizona) so I got to meet her. Reports say that she and Paul's step-Dad really liked me and that she'd be willing to pay for us to fly down and visit, so we've got that to look forward to! Free trip, yippee! I also have a trip planned with Mom, Dad, and Elizabeth at the end of June not to mention my Thailand trip August. Looks like a busy summer ahead!

Probably the last project on my list of things to do is gardening at my new home. This last winter Paul's landlord was extremely weird and decided to shovel the lawn as well as the walkways and because of that-- the whole front lawn's grass died (and is slowly being replaced with weeds). I am going to try to grow grass from seedlings sometime soon. I have no idea how to do it, but I guess that will be apart of the experience. Yay for being outside and working with the earth! We also bought a lavender plant when we were at the grocery store so we're going to plant that. Also, we bought some other plants (tomatoes, peppers, cilantro) to grow in a garden of our own making. We've gotta get on that soon if we want any peppers or tomatoes this summer.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that I am finally living my life. It's about time. Maybe when I finish my quilt I'll start looking for a real job (Tandem labs hook-ups here I come!). I was also thinking about interning up at the Zoo-- especially after my Thailand trip since I will have experience working with elephants!

It's been so long since I've updated that I've forgotten how to use the computer...

...just kidding. I am a computer wiz, yo.

Well... where to begin? These last few months have probably been the toughest part of my life so far and after 5 months (Has it really been that long?) of medication, psychologists, and therapy I can finally say I think things are finally getting underway--- but I am getting ahead of myself here.

Several months ago, Parker started to date someone new. His new girlfriend lives in Oregon and when he decided to take his first plane trip (something we promised to do together) to go visit her, I started to realize that Parker and I would never resolve things and never get back together. That's when the shit hit the fan.

In the proceeding months I started to rot in my self-loathing and depression until it was extremely black and white that I needed help. I met with my psychologist just before Thanksgiving, a time when Parker's girlfriend was visiting Salt Lake and being the first girlfriend besides myself to go to his family festivities, and I began antidepressants and talk therapy.

I tried to remain friends with Parker, to accept that he didn't love me anymore and just be his friend, but when being around him or even speaking about him made me tear up and get upset, I decided that I needed to stop talking to him if I was ever going to get better. (Plus, it was also because I loved Parker and was trying to let him live his chosen life-- having me going into hysterics because he didn't love me every time I was with him wasn't exactly... productive).

Since Parker was there whenever I would hang out with my friends, I stopped hanging out with them. I was depressed that whenever I tried to hang out with these friends without Parker it was always lackluster by being awkward and forced feeling, or I felt like they just didn't like me as much as they liked Parker. (Which is probably the case.) It broke my heart to know that all my friends from high school were my friends because of who I was dating but through counseling with my therapist, I have begun the process of putting myself out there to make new friends. I have been actively trying to get my life back in order and while things still seem a bit chaotic I think things are sorting itself out. I still get upset about Parker and what he did to me, but I guess now I am starting to get pass it.

This January I started dating someone new, Paul. I met him through my friend Peter and he is the balm to my wounds. When I am with him, I feel so safe and I know that he would do everything in his power to protect me. He isn't someone I have to fear that he's lying to me, or using me for the umpteenth time but instead the most fantastically caring person. We get each other on levels that I didn't even think possible-- it's almost as if we think, feel, act the same way. We even went camping in Zions together for spring break on a whim. It was quite liberating knowing that I was going camping and I didn't know where. It was nice being not so much of a planner.

Now that spring and summer is on it's way, I have been making plans to adopt a dog. I was going to adopt a particular dog, Biscuit, but unfortunately someone paid for her the moment I walked in the door. I have decided to wait a month until school is over so that I can really dedicate time to her versus now when I should really be cracking down for end of the semester.

This Easter weekend I took my senior chemistry exams (American Chemical Society tests on organic, inorganic, analytical, physical, and biological chemistry) and I passed them! Apparently I know enough chemistry to graduate with a BS. (I bought my cap and gown!) Since I was off taking tests on a Saturday I didn't get to go on my typical Easter trip to southern Utah to visit my Grandma Jones with my extended family. Instead I went with Paul up to Park City to his family's Easter events and met his whole family (who say via Paul that they liked me and sure thought I was tough to meet all of them at once).

I am quite optimistic about what my life can be.

Exciting Future Plans!

Happy belated Halloween, guys.

I was going to post pictures of my Halloween costume, but my Mom insisted on having far away photos (to get the "full effect" of my costume) and I think they ended up ugly, and apparently I was elusive at my parties so no photos! Oh well.

Left is the pumpkin I carved! I tried to make it a pumpkin-carving gathering but neither Parker nor Alex wanted to, so I just carved it myself! I thought this badboy was pretty awesome, I even carved open the back of the little pumpkin so that it would light up too when I had a candle in the big one. I usually don't like to carve large pumpkins (because of how tedious it is to carve through something that thick), but this one wasn't so bad. My niece Ivy seemed like she wanted in on my carving, so she carved the tiny one. She was pretty expert at it.

Let see what else is new to me recently. Well, last week I applied for graduation! I should be graduating next spring if all goes to plan (aka, if I don't fail my classes-- grr p-chem, hardest chemistry class, ever.) I recently took Advance Organic Chem Lab, which is a half semester class. My whole grade depended on how well I did the reactions. In the first week I made something, and with that product I had to make something else with it, etc, so basically if I messed up anywhere and didn't get a yield, I was screwed. In the end I had to write a paper (ended up being exactly 60 pages) which was basically my entire grade for the class. So say the least, I've been pretty busy.

The last thing on my agenda, and probably the most exciting was that I applied a few months ago to International Student Volunteer to go on a month long humanitarian trip (well, two weeks humanitarian trip, two weeks of FUN). My location choices were 1) Thailand, 2)Australia, 3) Ecuador, and I recently found out that I'm going to Thailand August 5th! I haven't received my humanitarian assignment yet, but I am hoping that I will get to take care of elephants and monkeys. (YES ELEPHANTS AND MONKEYS). Then some of the fun things I will get to do for my last two weeks are snorkeling around Koh Phi Phi, rock climbing and cave exploration in the deep caverns in the north of Thailand, sea kayaking around the islands and hidden caves around Phang-Nga Bay, and a two day hill-tribe jungle trek which hikes to indigenous Hill Tribes in Northern Thailand.

IT'S GONNA BE SO SWEET.

First exam of the semester!

Today I had my inorganic chemistry exam. I didn't do as well as I had hoped. When I was doing the old exams I was getting 90-100% correct, but this exam I guess he decided to throw some curve balls and so I probably got around 80%. Which, I suppose, is fine. I just really wanted to get an A in this class because it's definitely my favorite this semester.

I have come to find that I like classes based on two things, a) how approachable the professor is and how willing he/she will answer my questions, and b) if the class is logical. I like things to be logical but I think the approachability of my professors is directly proportional. If I think of organic chemistry, and how much I loooooooved that class I know it all winds down to my professor, Holly. Versus classes like pchem in which I feel like if I ever ask questions in class everyone will look at me as if I was being an idiot (which might be true because sometimes I just don't know what to ask, I always want to ask "what does this have to do with anything? I understand the math of it all but whats the point?" which I might just do one day when I've had enough). I just hope I can get a fairly good passing grade for pchem class and that's all I care about because I doubt that it will have large part in my life. (Maybe pchem 2 with thermodynamics but the probability of where electrons are? Little to none significance.)

Anyways, Peter and I are going to zoo for post-exam celebration! THEY HAVE A BABY ELEPHANT NOW!

Edit: Back from the zoo! I got pooped on by a bird in the jungle area of the snake house. But! Guess what?

THEY HAVE BABY EVERYTHING!

Baby elephants, baby tigers, baby giraffes, baby snow leopard, baby tamerans, baby monkeys! BABY EVERYTHING!


The baby elephant! She was super cute, she laid down in the mud, she played with her plastic toy balls, tried to fall asleep standing up, and only until later did I realize I had a camera. So the only one I got was with her hiding by Mom's leg!


This picture is SO STINKIN' CUTE. I CAN'T GET OVER IT.
When Peter and I got to the giraffe house the two adult giraffes looked like they were gonna get it on, but unfortunately it led to no where. I doubt I was the only one who was unsatisfied. WINK WINK.

Now for some other normal zoo pictures:

Trying to escape! (Then later he decided to just eat the pine tree).


This one is for Devin because I know how crazy he is over red pandas.


D'aw the bear. Did you know that black bears can be between black to almost white? NOW YOU DO! All the animals were so active! We decided while watching this black bear that he was trying to find a way to jump the gully and try to escape. He looked like he really wanted to at the end, but knew it was too far away!


My only evidence that Peter was there (I couldn't pinch it's nipples AND take the picture!)

P.S. My sister read my blog and she told me that they have glasses that you can wear to look at gorillas so they dont think youre challenging them with eye contact. You should check them out because they look pretty hilarious.