I thought I would spam out my latest update. Since I haven't really done that in ages.
Well, to be honest things there for awhile was like a nightmare. Parker started dating someone new just when I was starting to believe that he wanted to be with me again, that he dated enough other people and realized how good we had it so that he would want to date me again. Well, guess that all changed when he started dating someone new. Things were a bit dark there, and honestly I saw my future and everything I had planned for myself crumble around me. I realized that I have been pining over Parker for the last three years, and I suppose this was the last straw so I made a new years resolution to get over Parker. Those last few years I would always say "oh I should just get over him, things would be better that way, etc etc etc" but I never really meant it, well until now.
It has been about a month since my resolution, and although I know that I'm not over him yet I can feel so much better about... oh everything. I never really realized until I tried to give him up how much he was still apart of my life when he shouldn't have been. Like, for the last 9 years if I had a problem or a worry, or even just telling someone about my day, I would always go to him. I have forgotten how to cry on my own-- how to self sustain... which causes a lot of problems if the thing is bothering me is the person I'm talking to. Really, these last few years have been just bickering on top of bickering.
I am relearning how to do things on my own. Learning to be dependent again. So far I am incredibly proud of my progress. I suppose all I really had to do was set my mind to the task.
In other news, I started the new semester. This year's schedule is very nightmarish. With how my school schedule is set up, I go to school from 7am/8am-about 2 and then I work from 2-7. Basically I'm at the U campus for about 12 hours straight. It's been quite hellish, but it gives me time to work on my homework? I noticed though, when I get home from school and work I never want to do anything (like, finish my homework, study more, etc). Which might become more of a problem, like for instance I should be studying right now but I much rather watch The Office and update my blogs. Such a silly girl I am.
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2 comments:
Angela, I'm proud of you. I've been through some super nasty break ups and I can say that none of them have been easy. I'm proud of you for taking the steps you need to to move on. You've got so many amazing things going for you. Keep it up!
I finally had to move to Canada for a summer to get over a boy I had become a hundred percent dependant on over the 3 years we were dating!
But a LOT of good comes with it.
If you need someone to cry with or call to talk, I'm here!
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